The other morning my brain defaulted. It was the 7th day of rain, gray skies, and wet ground; and as I looked outside the weather seemed like it was IN my brain and body.
I shuffled to the kitchen to get breakfast going for my kids and some familiar thunder in my brain wakes up my senses. “At least I CAN make breakfast for my kids this morning.” I recall that some are not so fortunate in Oklahoma. Some mothers may be wondering if their precious child is laying somewhere under mounds of school rubble, surrounded by concrete, still alive and waiting for mom to come rescue them.
Mine are still tucked safely in bed under their soft covers.
I give thanks and my heart goes out to those who are instead grieving and worried. I pray. I imagine, as best I can, what they must be feeling. I remember the pain my own mother felt when she lost her own son when he was 33.
I have watched what she has gone through……
Some scriptures come to mind:
“Oh that my head were waters, and my eyes a fountain of tears”
“Streams of tears flow from my eyes because my people are destroyed.”
It is hard make sense of things sometimes. It really is. I know that the heart of God understands our questions and this knowledge releases inner fears that keep us from accepting Him INTO our pain.
He knows our weakness, and has provided so much strength.
The heart of Jesus is always wide open to our grief, to any of our pains, for His love is weighted with compassion – like a heavy cloud ready to burst down our needed moisture.
He feels. He knows.
One scripture that has been very important to me is John 11. I love that He knows what pain feels like on the inside before the tears even fall, just as He did with Mary and the Jews when her brother and their dear friend died:
“When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping,
he groaned in spirit and was troubled……”
That is where the pain really sits and hurts – IN our spirits. I know what that feels like, so likely do you, and so does He. He also knows that after that groaning…….when our inner organs cannot hold it in any longer……often comes the weeping.
And He also wept with those who wept.
His compassions never fail though all else around seems like it has. I know that is a huge part of rainy days.
It is a time to draw in, draw close, and soak in His heart which He is wanting to show us. It is a time to draw in His life and allow our roots to sink in – to soak in all that He is to us.
Pain makes me/us thirsty, and He is the water of life.
So when there is much rain, the clouds are thick, and we cannot see, may we drink fully and freely of Him.
May we know deeply of His great love.
And then, as we have gathered from Him, may we overflow His comforts.
May we “weep with those who weep.”
“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”
(Jeremiah 9:1; Lamentations 3:48; John 11:33,35; Romans 12:15; Ephesians 3:16-20 )