My Child’s Hand

 

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“Fear not for I have redeemed you, I have called you by my name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters I will be with you…”♥

I know you can relate. We all have had those unexpected pauses in life where time stands still and circumstances hit our minds like an unbearable weight.
A death, a loss, a health crisis, a financial strain – any of these and more – can make the boat of our lives feel like it is about to sink……and then, like a dense fog……

Fear sets in and it is even hard to pray.
We cower and become restless and yet, through all the confusion,

He calls.

“He knows our frame that we are but dust.”♥ He understands our weakness; and hence, our great

I AM,

reminds us that He is always with us IN our vessel IN our darkest moments.

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A heavy moment like this hit my life in what started out to be a normal summer morning in 2001. (That morning was actually the mere beginning of a long difficult road.)  I just had put my baby girl down for a nap and had started to read my morning e-mails, when I noticed that my left eye was feeling unusually heavy or “tired”.
The strange feeling only became more intense so I got up and looked in the mirror. I noticed my eye lid was barely closing when I blinked – and not only that, but the corner of my mouth was also starting to droop and not obey my commands.

Within a span of 30 minutes I had lost all the function on the left side of my face. A fear like nothing I had experienced before gripped my life. This fear was intense because I have always been a very design-oriented person. I am artistic and love to find beauty in things. Now, the balance of my own face was gone, my beauty felt like it was leaving me, and more deeply, who I actually was changed before my eyes.
My inner core was earth-shaken.
I called out to my husband who was just putting my toddler into his high chair for breakfast. Tearfully, I showed him my condition and we started to pray.
I was terrified.…

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We stood in front of my little boy in his high chair and bowed our heads; but my mind was too full,  I could not concentrate.
I closed my eyes anyway and to steady my body I rested my hand on the high chair. Almost immediately I felt a marked contrast to my razor-sharp thoughts: a very soft, soothing,  hand gently swept underneath mine.

My little blonde chubby boy was scooping up my hand.
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I will never forget that moment.
That tender sensation on my skin was just the opposite of the harshness that was racing in my head, and the contrast caused me to pause……….…

as though my rocking boat was instantly steadied, and Jesus was saying directly in my ear:

 

” Fear thou not for I AM with thee.”♥

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I often feel a lot like the disciples in the wave tossed boat when Jesus was WITH them in the vessel, asleep.♥ Can you relate? The water rises and the winds pick up and my gaze quickly becomes consumed in the details when really, only “one thing is needful”♥  – for me to repose beside Him……

at rest
because
HE is with me.

I am still learning this. I am learning that He is enough. I am learning that no circumstance frightens Him, and that He commands those winds and waves.

I am learning to be There more – tossed but at peace, captivated with Him.

I would love to hear how you are learning this too.

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“Your voice is powerful
And Your words are radiant bright
In Your breath and shadow
I will come close and abide
You whisper love and life divine
And Your fellowship is free
Draw us closer oh my Lord
Draw me closer Lord to Thee”
~ From the song “Captivate Us”

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♥References: Is. 43:1,2;  Psalm 103:14;  Is. 41:10;  Matt. 8:23-27; Luke 10: 40-42

Quotes ~ W. Nee

I read this this morning and thought it to be so good and so needed. Maybe, we can all pray this with the heart of His Spirit today. Fervent prayer accomplishes much:

Hands put over another, palms down.

Hands put over another, palms down. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“The Christian continually ought to ask God to purify his mental life and keep it fresh. He should request God to root out every evil thought towards Him and all excessive notions as well so that what he believes is completely of God. Pray that you may not only think of Him but in addition think rightly. Pray that no thought will issue forth from your evil nature, but that if it does it will be exposed and disposed of by God’s light immediately. Ask God to keep you away from your old pattern of thinking in order that the church of God may not be divided by special doctrines. Ask Him too to check you from accepting any special teaching with your mind which would separate you from His other children. Entreat Him to make you of one mind with the others; and if in any matter this one mind is lacking, then wait earnestly and patiently for it. Beseech Him not to permit you to hold any erroneous idea or teaching in your new life. Implore Him to render you dead not only to this evil nature of yours but also to your evil mentality. Plead with Him that your thought may not in any way be the cause of division in the body of Christ. Beg Him not to allow you to be deceived again. Supplicate on behalf of other children of God that they too may live by Him, no further provoking and no further scattering each other, that all may truly enjoy one life and one mind.” (Emphasis mine)
Amen…..a thousand times!

It’s Sunny, Above the Clouds

I needed this today, so thought I should put it here in case someone else needs it too:

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I am the Lord, I do not change. ~ Malachi 3:6

“The authority of darkness is a very real thing to us. We have experiences, and if we were to capitulate to them, that would be the end of us. He tries to bring upon us that impingement of the authority of darkness, and if we surrender to it, capitulate to it, accept it, we are beaten. If we are the Lord’s, Christ is within, and Christ is supreme and we must go on even if we have no feeling, or if we have a very bad feeling; when it seems to be the last thing we ought to be saying, we say it because it is God’s fact, and when we begin to affirm God’s fact we win through.” TAS

He is “the same yesterday, and today, and for ever.”

More Like A Dance

précipice !

précipice ! (Photo credit: Fab738)

HERE I am.
Blog beginnings.

It has been a long journey here, but a wild and wonderful one…..full of runs on turning trails, walks on meandering paths, falls on unexpected objects, and quiet moments of jaw-dropping wonder.

I often could see in the distance this precipice on which I now stand, knowing I wanted to maybe be there (here) and maybe….take that leap. Several people told me of it: “You need to…”; “You should..”; “How about starting…”.

Starting. That IS often the hard part about things on this journey of life.

But, I was once told by a friend not to think of “starting” anything as if it were some big leap into an unknown abyss, but to think of each thing as a step in an unfolding path. So now I try to see each place of growth, each treasure I take in along the way, each person who joins me…..and sometimes leaves, as those very steps in an unfolding dance.

The dance is life.
My partner is the One Who has won and is winning my heart.

I am learning to let Him lead by resting, leaning on Whom I am learning Him to be – and that is my ALL.
My eyes are on gazing into His……..if I do not, I lose footing.
I will instruct you and teach you in the way that you should go. I will guide you with my eye” – He promises.

So here I stand with Him. “Starting” a space on the web, jumping off the edge of this precipice……a new dance.
I do not know how far below the “end” is.
Could I hit the bottom at 1 foot or thousands?
I do not know…..But I do know that
He is my wind, my feathers, my compass.
He is just leading me to move and tells me to spread my wings.

So here I go: toes on the edge, eyes waiting on Him, arms open wide, and…….
(Are you coming with me?)

Step. Dance……….
“They that wait upon the Lord…shall mount up with wings as eagles,
they shall run and not be weary,
they shall walk and not faint.”